he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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