The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize