I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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