Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
