she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Randomize
