Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
