i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
