I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
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We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
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In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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