I hope my margaritas pass through security.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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