If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
my god I love twenty year old dicks
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
