By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
