My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
