Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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