I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.