I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
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shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
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Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....