no, he came in my armpit
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth