oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys