you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... π―πππ
Do I even want to know?
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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