You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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