yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
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