Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
