i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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