weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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