It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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