My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Text me some of your sweat
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
