Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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