Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
