she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
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