If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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