omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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