Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
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