You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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