Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
