I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
