dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
