it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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