check it out our google latitudes are spooning
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
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