Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Randomize
