I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize