the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
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