Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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