you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
