so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
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