tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
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