Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
