omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize