That's intense
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
