oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
