this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
