Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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