so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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