My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
