my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
