why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
