The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
