she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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