I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I can't turn off my feet"
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Randomize
