I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize